I have struggled with this over the years as I know many people do. It’s amazing how quickly we can forget someone’s name literally seconds after being introduced. It just vanishes. I am always impressed when someone remembers my name. They go up a few notches on the – I like this person scale. I also have that moment of fear when I realize they remember my name and I have forgotten theirs.
What prompted me to write about this was a conversation I was having the other day with an associate of mine. He was a bartender for years and said he would remember what the person drank but many times could not remember their name. I have had that situation occur as well. I will remember a detail about the person but can’t remember their name.
Another common comment you hear is, “I always remember a face, but I can’t remember a name.” Somehow that just doesn’t do it for me. If you remembered my name, I would be impressed. Remembering my face – not the same.
Name Grabbing Tools
In an effort to give you some tools to work with in the game of names I have listed 5 ways to try to capture the name in your mind and put yourself in position to be the impresser and not the impressed and embarrassed.
1. Pay Attention. When you are being introduced or introducing yourself you need to be focused on hearing the name and processing it. If you did not hear the person’s name, ask them to repeat it. The real problem is when you meet 2 or 3 or more people at the same time. Many times during those introductions everyone is saying hello and shaking hands and its easy to miss someone’s name. As you make your way through the handshakes and cordials if you missed someone’s name – ask them to repeat it and concentrate on hearing it.
2. Repeat the person’s name immediately. Say something like, “it’s nice to meet you, John. What’s John been up to lately?” Get them talking and listen to what they are saying. While their talking, work on sticking their name in your mind.
3. Use association. When you meet someone and focus on their name, immediately try to associate it with something about the person. Lori is loud or Pete is practical. Something that will give you some recall. One method that works best for me is when I meet someone, and I am concentrating, I instantly think of someone else I know with the same name. It works pretty well. If you meet someone with a name you can’t associate with someone else you know, try rhyming it with one you do know. The main thing again is to concentrate.
4. When you get home or back to the office or your car, write their name down along with any special features or things that remind you of who they are. I sell my offline business services door to door and when I meet someone and talk about my service and generate enough interest to get there phone number I always write a little note about something that went on during the conversation. It does not have to be much to jar your memory about that person. The cool thing is you not only remember their name but something significant about them. So the next time you meet them you can call them by their name and ask them how the so and so thing is going. Double impression points for that one.
5. Over the next couple of days spend a little time thinking about the person and remembering their name. You will be amazed at how this locks it in your mind. It’s a little work but you never know when something like remembering someone’s name, days or weeks after meeting them, can impact the relationship. If it can impact it at the point of initial meeting, imagine how it can impact it days or weeks later.
Common Theme – Concentration
The common theme to these ideas is concentration. You have to want to remember names and be conscious of it. It will take some practice but not a lot of work. Putting a little effort towards it can produce great rewards – for both you and them.
